A Personal LOL
I edited the rough draft of Captives of the Fern Queen several times, paying special attention to the first few pages which are so critical. Finally, I decided it was in good enough shape and started reading it to my children. When I got to Janna’s description of the blueflame birds (4th page), I tried to read it in a way that would make them feel how very wonderful these birds were:
“Their feathers were as bright as the flames that flicker blue in the heart of a fire. The very sight of a blueflame lifted people’s spirits so much that it changed their lives. Not many were seen, though. They were heard more often, but that was special too. Their song was piercingly beautiful. The history books said it brought tears to its listener’s ears.”
My daughter, Sarah, interrupted me. “Wow, Mom,” she said. “That’s some bird.”
I beamed with delight. Yes, she was getting it. Then she went on, “It has remarkable ears, doesn’t it?”
Oh. So much for careful editing! And it rhymed so beautifully. 🙂